"Julia" by P, San Jose, marker on white paper bag from trash

Celebrity portraits are not exactly high art. In fact, they’re more like the Fiero of the sportscar world – sure they’re made of metal but you look like a grade-A knob behind the wheel of one. And so it was with great trepidation that I agreed to review San Jose surrealist P’s take on silver screen starlet, Julia Roberts. There’s no mistaking the cartoonish wax lips, but aside from that, P checks the photorealism at the door and opts to metaphorically capture this Pretty Woman. Two bright blue eyes – cute as buttons yet empty as cupless saucers dangle like ornaments below two clearly overreaching eyebrows. A shock of hair that looks as plastic and replaceable as a Potato Head doll asks the viewer, “who do you want Julia to be today?” Pretty Woman or Erin Brokovich are the only plausible choices – neither of which sparks the interest of this reviewer.