Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Self-Portrait, K, Delaware, Ohio, pencil on paper

Yes, K, I do believe this is a self-portrait. Did you also live in Florence circa 1503–1505? For Leonardo’s sake, if you are going to plagiarize the master, have the decency to do it right. Mona Lisa’s strong Roman nose brings the viewer’s eye directly to the centerpiece of the da Vinci painting: her enigmatic smile. Your nose, dear K, looks more like the last pathetic strand of spaghetti in the colander. Furthermore, the last time I checked, Mona Lisa’s eyes both resided in the same ZIP code, and she wasn’t wearing wristbands. Now, if I am off base (impossible!) and this truly is a self-portrait, you should go see a doctor about that palsied left arm of yours posthaste.


  1. In K's lithe rendering of a nose, I see the influence of Modigliani's figurative work, and the I feel the pull of Picasso's ubiquitous "Demoiselle d'Avignon" in the asymmetrical alignment of the eyes, the shoulders, and in K's abruptly truncated torso. Primitive, powerful, provocative - clearly a pre-cursor to cubism.

    It's safe to say that Paris in the late 19th or early 20th century would welcome K with open arms.

    As for a trip to the doctor, in addition to checking out that palsied arm, I also recommend having them take a look at the "beauty mark" underlining the lips on the bottom left... Undoubtedly arresting, it also appears potentially precancerous to me.

  2. Genius!!!! This is exactly the kind of INSPIRED banter I expect in this digital space. As for the "beauty mark" -- it troubles me as well. My initial take was that she cut herself shaving. Too gauche?

  3. Are you writing this in reply to a child's drawing? It sounds very harsh to me.